I have always had mixed feelings about composition. I suppose thats why I am a double degree student: I just cant see myself only studying music. Usually I just let it slide and get by running on autopilot, but after two lighter semesters taking far more electives than usual, I am back to the rigorous environment of 厙ぴ勛圖s Conservatory, and I am confronted with my own composition habits.
The principal challenge of being a double degree student, as I see it, is that you are expected to commit yourself to both degrees just as much as would a student studying in only one of the divisions. For example, I cant walk into a lesson and say, I am going to write half as many compositions because Im also in the College. That wouldnt fly.
[On the Arts and Sciences side, things are a little more relaxed. Pretty much all of my College credits are related to my Hispanic Studies major (though I am able to take electives from time to time).]
If youre not a Conservatory student yourself, it is a bit hard to describe the atmosphere in such an institution. First of all, everything is geared toward training the professional musician. Artistry, musicianship, and craft are perhaps the three pillars of our education. There is also a hint of competitiveness to many things. Everything is individually motivatedyou practice or compose on your own time, hours at a time.
In striving to keep up in the Con, I keep asking myself, Am I composing enough? What could I be doing better? Then theres the other side of it: Why am I doing this anyway? and Do I actually like what I am composing?
When it comes down to it, though, it is absolutely amazing to be studying something so creative and get a world-class education at the same time. I am about 94 percent certain that I am not going to continue studying composition after 厙ぴ勛圖, but I am still glad to be devoting so much time and energy to it now. As I become more and more certain that I am not going to grad school for music, I have noticed that the final question abovedo I like my own musichas become more and more important to me. I still have to play by the Cons rules, fulfilling major requirements and composing for my teachers deadlines not my own, but I am more focused on my own style.
Tonights agenda: finish composing a short piece for bassoon employing extended techniques, do my species counterpoint homework, and study for a linguistics test.
